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[Apr. 13th, 2025|08:44 pm] |
This journal is somewhat friends-only.
The good stuff is locked away.
Comment with the following to be considered =] It's not that I'm ~elitist~ or whatever, I'd just like to know whether we'd click or not.
If all your entries are friends-only, kindly add me first so I can lurk. :) Merci! |
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[Jun. 5th, 2008|11:23 pm] |
Note to self: update more. Read more.
I'm on IJ, I just don't bother doing either and just head for divierto. =\ But I miss journaling, so I will more now that it's summer, I promise.
Okay, I'll make a list. I'm a little buzzed, so I don't know where this entry is going really.
- My play was tonight. I thought it was going to be super crap, but it pulled together quite nicely in the last three days before the show. I loved my monologue, and we connected well. Ace. One more thing off the shortening list of things left in school this year.
-I lost my job. Big fucking bummer. They hired too many people apparentally and had to let people go. Seeing as I have next to no experience, fair enough.
-Tomorrow is my prom! :D Yay. I'm really excited, it'll be mad fun.
-I like someone I probably shouldn't. But I still can't decide if I actually do like them or not. Hmm.
-I decided I'm no longer angry at Mike. I know, people will be pissed if I become his friend again. But it's the end of grudge, and I'm letting it go, and that's good. Of course I'm still wary of letting him get hold of my life again.
- Summer summer summer! YES! AH! ENDLESS HAPPINESS! FINALLY!
That's my update for you :D |
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[May. 19th, 2008|04:21 pm] |
Aw, man.
Life has been looking up =] I feel so excited. Things are going really well for the first time in a while and I feel like it's going to stay that way, too. I'm getting along with my brother really well for the first time in my life. My parents moved him out of his room upstairs when he went for university, and now that he's back, he's in a room right next to mine in the basement. We've basically been hanging out and stuff =]
The only thing I have on my mind is waiting for the final decision on whether I'll be at inglenook next year, since I keep breaking my attendance probation cause I get sick too often.
But, if I am there, I'll be Dictator next semester, I'm fairly certain. Our school has this...weird thing that was started a few semesters ago where someone is designated the 'dictator of inglenook' (usually by the last dictator.) It's kind of a joke position with no REAL duties, you can just kind of choose what you want to do, and have some sort of mild abilities. :P
AND AND
Summer is almost here! Hurrah! Which is the most exciting thing.
Okay, this was basically a ramble. Have a good day, kids. |
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[May. 9th, 2008|02:15 am] |
Goddamnit, job. Start already.
I'm really excited to work where I'll be working. The place has a really sweet vibe. They even have a really quirky employee-updated blog:
http://mercuryorganic.blogspot.com/
Tonight was the best night I've had in a long time. =]
Went to Circa,[5 floor club opened a year or so ago by Peter Gatien]. danced, and had a really good time for no particular reason at all. I really wanted to see what Circa was like, so I went when I didn't even pay, which was really sweet.
Then spent the rest of the night laughing for hours at a time.
Bleh, summer, get here FASTER. All my friends are already out of university for the summer =\ |
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[May. 5th, 2008|05:46 am] |
Blargh.
I've been up all night with asthma problems. I really can't afford to be missing school, either. =\ & My asthma sucks cause there's nothing to do about it.
Choices:
1. Sit and suffer for a couple hours til it passes. (counting on 4 hours now.)
Ill-advised by telehealth, and any doctor, because, technically, there's a chance if you sit around and ignore you'll experience SUDDEN DEATH. YAY.
or
2. Go to the emergency room and wait 4 more hours til either a)it stops before I'm even seen. or b)they see me, hear no signs of wheezing and perfect peak flows, and send me on home.
Neither of which are particularly satisfying.
{sigh} |
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[Apr. 30th, 2008|10:57 pm] |
The Rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favourite lyric to your current favourite song. Or your favourite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You update your IJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.
From ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) clare_dragonfly
1. What kind of bike do you ride? How long have you been riding?
I don't even remember! I think it's called a Kyata, 18-speed. Nothing too special. I learned to ride a bike when I was 4. :)
2. What's your favorite book of all time?
That would definitely have to be On The Road by Jack Kerouac. I like his way of thinking, his way of living. The book changed the way I think, and I look for that in everything.
3. Are you going to college? If so, where?
Yes, I'm going for Massage Therapy, and probably in Toronto at a place called Sutherlan-Chan.
4. Do you have a 'type'--a certain aesthetic you're attracted to?
Not really. There are certain types I like (redheads, for example), but I'm attracted to lots of different kinds of people.
5. If you could meet any historical figure, who would it be and why?
Timothy Leary.
Because he had an interesting perspective on the use of recreational drugs for spiritual use. His theories of human perception were very intriguing, and I think sitting down and having a good conversation with him would be eye-opening. |
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[Apr. 26th, 2008|12:41 pm] |
My dreams these days are so intense. And really heavy. I woke up this morning feeling so melancholy. I'm suprised they're still so vivid now that I'm smoking pot again.
Part of my dream I had a party, and basically lashed out at everyone. I felt bad, but I was going crazy, and everyone deserved it anyway. Can I say that?
I think I'm going to take my bike out today cause the subway went on unannounced strike. =] yayyy. |
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[Apr. 20th, 2008|11:34 pm] |
4/20 was nuts. Tons of pot. Tons tons, possibly too much, but just enough.
This feels like it's going to be one of those out-there figurative rambling entries where I get really vague, so prepare yourself.
There's so many people who let me down all the time. It makes me wonder. I was told by someone to do what they did in my own situation; to just "stop caring about everything". But I love to care. Caring for people and things is the basis of my existence, or maybe only once was. I don't want to stop caring about everyone, but what do you do when that becomes so hard?
I'm afraid that once my best friend goes away next year I won't have any friends left, true friends. Already I feel that I'm distanced from everyone in a way I haven't been before. My soul isn't there in everything I'm doing. But what do you do?
I don't feel close to anyone right now. Is it cliche to say that everyone who I've let so close has hurt me? I've heard those words uttered from so many people's mouths that it almost seems like a universal statement of all human existence.
Which is so envelopingly depressing, it makes me choke.
Now, I'll do this, stolen from twitchybitchy
Five happies:
1. barefoot walks
2. taking a really great photograph on the first try.
3. swimming in lakes. Especially skinny dipping in them.
4. djarum black cigarettes.
5. naked non-sexual cuddling.
Five sads:
1. having asthma
2. being left with no options to fix a situation.
3. secrets that needn't be secrets
4. manipulaters
5. when people get so intoxicated they can't be responsible for their actions. |
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[Apr. 3rd, 2008|03:00 pm] |
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Thou shalt not treasure thy relationships that bring thou only pain. |
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[Mar. 3rd, 2008|02:10 am] |
A part of me really wants a baby.
Now, now. Don't flinch. I have my senses. I know it's not the right time or all that.
But it's an idea I enjoy to entertain now and then.
And as of late, perhaps of hormones, perhaps of age, but something rages inside me when I see children that says "HEY YOU, GET ONE OF THOSE."
& beyond the reasons of having something love and need you, and creating something, and all the complex and naturally simple reasons to want offspring, I look down as I imagine breastfeeding a baby, and I realize part of it is not wanting to be a sexual object anymore.
I want a break from being so sexual and sexualized, and playing "the game", and feeling like I need validation or that I'm winning or losing.
I feel like taking a period of celibacy. Let go of the constant desire and pressure for companionship.
You can't lose the game if you refuse to play.
These are just a few rambles.
I miss journaling. |
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[Feb. 9th, 2008|12:28 am] |
I suppose you could say I'm taking a break from journaling.
I'll be back. =] |
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[Jan. 23rd, 2008|01:37 am] |
I hate when you go up to an old friend, someone you were so intensely close with, and you come up warm & friendly, try and have an nice open conversation as usual, and they close up, clamp down, shut you out.
It's this strange fear of sorts, it seems.
And it can be people who are amazing with strangers or meeting new people; they can make awesome conversation with people they met minutes ago.
But somehow, when the past is there [even a perfectly good past] looming over the conversation, it's like there's extra weight to every word, and they're just to heavy to come out lightly, too heavy to flow, or be cheery. Like a level of tension must be maintained.
But why?
It's 1:40. My bed is calling. "I want you in me." =D |
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| 'Bleh' is the word of the week. |
[Jan. 14th, 2008|07:42 pm] |
I keep finding myself wandering into book stores and frantically scanning the shelves for something new. I need a book that'll suprise me. No, more than that. I want a book that'll rip apart my ideas of life and reality and people and put them back together again. My searches come up fruitless 98 percent of the time.
Today feels like poetry.
I want inspiration. |
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[Jan. 12th, 2008|01:59 pm] |
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RIP GJ =[ |
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